Memes like the one above have existed forever. It’s misogynistic, and shows photos of men doing household chores and taking care of children, with the caption “If your man touches these, you have failed as a wife.” This meme is essentially shaming women who do not take on the responsibilities of a traditional wife. This meme likely isn’t directly very hurtful to women who share these responsibilities with their partners, as they are likely confident enough in their lifestyle to recognize they haven’t failed as wives. However, if someone agrees with this meme, they might feel it’s more appropriate to share their views once they see it online. Men have primarily been the ones to share these beliefs, but there has been a flood of Lifestyle-TikTokers going viral sharing their routines which very much include all the traditional homemaking tasks. These women are aptly called “Trad-Wives.”
Trad-Wives are passionate about canning, gardening, and homeschooling. They share videos of their days filled with bread-making and tending to chickens. They are extremely conscientious of the health of their family and of latest trends. They portray their lives as the way a family should operate. The man going to work to provide all the comforts the woman shows off, and she ensures he doesn’t have to lift a finger at home.
As a young woman watching these videos, I was down with it at first. Trad-Wives romanticize their lives to the extreme. I’m not sure I would get bored of pursuing personal passions while maintaining a clean house. But I might. The Trad-wives never mention what their plan would be if they were to become unhappy in their situation. Apart from the women who have become significant influencers, most Trad-Wives have no personal source of income. Many Trad-Wives get married and have children young enough that they haven’t had the opportunity to gain work experience or gain an education. It is irresponsible for these women to be preaching their lifestyles without acknowledging the freedoms they lose.
The circulation of this meme is just an echo of the ideals Trad-Wives have been serializing lately. The more content like this that is put out just makes people more comfortable with their misogynistic takes. I have remade the caption to say “If you don’t do these when your wife asks, you have failed as a husband.” It’s a direct response to the kind of ideals promoted in the first memen. This meme is formatted the same way and likely would be spread in the same ways as the other. Except it would be shared by completely different audiences. This shames men for expecting their wives to be subservient to them. It is important for people to be aware of what they post. It is also important for people to be able to post what they’d like. I think that, apart from things like hate speech or terrorist activity, there should be very limited censorship online, especially in places where memes are shared. It is beneficial for us to be exposed to as many different points of view as possible. Online forums are so helpful for exposing people to unknown beliefs and therefore encouraging critical analysis of their own.
Unfortunately, algorithms are changing the digital ecosystem in a way where people are not exposed to a breadth of perspectives. Personalized algorithms are what have made Trad-Wives so dangerous. Young women are fed memes like the original above, and not introduced to any criticisms against it. We spend so much time on our feeds, yet we have almost no control over what we see. Who we follow is often just background noise against what the app wants to serve us. The best way we can regulate the content we consume is by ensuring that the algorithm does not restrict us from seeing all ends of the conversation.
1 Response
Agree! Misogynistic memes are super common online and they’re very bare bones, using the same “jokes” over and over. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing them, especially when they’re used against me when playing games, haha! It’s unfortunate that a lot of people on the internet have a history of being super misogynistic against women.