Find your cliche’s and list them, then copy your revisions here, so I can easily see them. You can review the Clichés handout for tips. 

Now that you have a sense of your story characters, form and structure, you can turn key “telling scenes” into action where you SHOW what is happening so we can see important information and decode the data ourselves.   Pick at least 3 main moments where you can bring your story to life by transforming Telling into Showing. 

List each of these “moments” that are updated.

Dialogue is a way to show all kinds of information about your character and the plot of the story.  Pick at least 3 dialogue moments where you can revise the dialogue so it sounds like the character but is very cleverly giving key info about the story.

List the updated dialogue  in your post.