Waiting on feedback
My feedback to Liv:
I really enjoyed reading your story, and I think it’s very engaging.The Lincoln Hall passages are very suspenseful. Looking through each level of the building and getting to choose whether to continue to the next level made it really engaging. I’m curious to see what is inside the office with the mysterious blue glow. I really like the newspaper passage. It feels like you are reading an actual newspaper article and really immerses you in the story. It might read even more like a newspaper article if it stands alone as its own passage with a different font than the other passages. Have you tried moving “You open the newspaper, being careful not to rip the aging paper” to the Library passage and using it to link to the newspaper passage? Do you plan on revealing more about the investigation and initial disappearance throughout the story? Experiencing Rue’s initial reaction to Phoebe’s disappearance might help the reader connect to Rue. Having more background into the police investigation and why they stopped looking for her could help give a reader a sense of Rue’s frustration and confusion.